Pet Peeves

I don't know why, but in the back of my mind is always this desire to make a list of pet peeves, but I never get around to it. Not only that, but there is something about the idea that makes me think this will actually be beneficial to others. How I can't imagine. One useful aspect of maintaining such a list is that having it consciously spelled out and written down increases my chances of finding a passable workaround for a particular peeve instead of just suffering with it newly and absently every time it presents it's self. I'll go ahead and list the respective workarounds when I think of any. This list will grow indefinitely.

• the depleting chip and dip paradox:
  -> OK, you make some onion dip with campbells onion soup and sour cream. You have your bag of chips. As the bowl of dip depletes making it more difficult to scoup the dip without getting your hands dirty sinse you need to reach increasingly further into the bowl. the chips you use actually get smaller as you reach the end of the chip bag sinse all the broken chips and crumbs tend to fall to the bottom. So you are reaching futher with an increasingly small chip.
  -> workaround: A spoon or a knife I guess. Slather the dip on the chip fragments.
  
  
• Touching Public bathroom handles after washing hands:
  -> workarounds: (1) open door w foot if possible. (2) open door w paper towel, taking care to toss the paper towel into bin once door has been opened enough to hold w foot.
  -> fix: All public bathroom entryways should be designed without doors like airports often have for wheelchair accessible- or else with foot operable or motion-sensing openers. At the very least- doors should open always outwards and be latch-less so that the door can be pushed open from the inside.
  

Peeves particular to parenting- things I dislike about kids:

• making rythmic, vaquely distructive sounding, banging noises in the background while I am resting or preoccupied.
• Food that kids reject:
  You go to the trouble to prepare a home-cooked meal and the kid doesn't like some or part of what you prepared. You could store it but generally this is a lot of trouble and every extra 'left-over' that finds it's way into your refrigerated can add to your sense of general maintenance anxiety in the home. Generally you just serve as a garbage disposal and consume the extra calories you should be watching for and weren't even hungry for at that point. I don't feel right about tossing it out either. The only good solution is to require the child to eat it. Sometimes I will do that.
  
• kids stepping on or just missusing DVD cases.
• losing my place in books by removing the bookmark or folding a book I had placed face-down.
• Stepping on and warping my broom bristols so that it is uncomfortable to sweep with and flings debris across the floor instead of neatly consolidating it for dust-bin duty.
• plausible deniability arguments (the sibs will be freaked out and both are denying and blaming so that I don't know where to begin to dispense punative justice)
• child bangs my elbow, tossing beverage out of my hand as by a lever.
  -> workaround: habitually announce and warn about the beverage when kids are near.
  
• stress-testing every object in the universe out of keeping with it's intended usage and (where applicable) terms of warrentee. A really annoying example is how the remote that came with my TV now has a dangling backing for the battery casing from constant unconscious and frenetic fidgeting. Gets looser and looser driving me ever closer to the brink of insanity.
  failed workaround: bought a couple of universal remotes. They are lousey- they won't work like the original remote for whatever reason.
• the universal remotes I bought to deal with previous workaround. They sit in my house looking ugly and not working as intended. I need to toss them in the recycle bin. I'll do that tonight.
• Leaning on my mouse or key-board hands while I am using the computer.
• hanging on to my body while I am trying to have a conversation.
• Making ungodly loud racket the moment they detect I am trying to have a phone conversation.
• Asking me questions constantly in such great number and diversity that I forget my own name and wander off for days in a phsychogenic fuge.
• Making requests which I would normally say no to- with greatly intensified persistence and rapidity while additionally tugging my arm as soon as it is detected I destracted because of trying very hard to talk on the phone.